Embracing Life

Was it just last week that I posted I was on alert for a kidney? Seems like months ago at this point.  The night after I was put on alert, I still wondered if I would get a call.  I received another call in the afternoon stating that I was still in the running.  There was one person ahead of me, and he/she was a multi-organ recepient, and that took presedence over me.  The other two times I had received the alert call, I felt sick to my stomach. I prayed that it wasn't the time.  I wasn't too concerned about being called back.  This time, I was strangely calm.  I didn't go crazy trying to clean the house or get things done, rather I played Uno with the kids. We all laid in my bed at bedtime, reciting prayers and just being together.  Keith and I watched some DVR.  At 9:30 p.m. on Wednesday, October 14, the phone rang.  It was the nurse coordinator, stating that the kidney was mine, and that I needed to be into Chicago by midnight. ...

About this time last year, I wrote this post: Enjoy the little things... .  I quote one of my favorite songs - Simple Man by Lynyrd Skynyrd.  I talk about the time I drove home from my grandpa's funeral, all alone, and this song came on the radio.  But from time to time, this song will magically appear on the radio when I need it most. Like today while I was driving. I debated bringing this up as I don't want to hear people say - "I hope it works out for you" or "I'm sorry" when/if it doesn't. I will begin this by saying, there is no right thing to say to me when I share this news.  Perhaps just a like on my FB post will be enough to know someone read it. But here's the thing.... I am #2 in line for a cadaver kidney today. I found out last night. This is the third call I've received since the end of August putting me on alert. (Because it doesn't really happen like it does on t.v.). First they call and say, hey we have a kidney, b...

So here's the thing - I have a really sucky disease.  Well, sort of. I mean, it's not that bad in the grand scheme of things. (Despite what my mom thinks.)  A little girl I follow on FB just had a liver transplant, and they think the new liver is failing. Don't even get me started on all the gun violence in the world... especially Chicago and my hometown. Life could be worse. Strangely enough, I seem to be the only person in my family with such a positive outlook. I say that loudly and proudly on my blog - 1, because most of my family doesn't read this, and 2, because I say it to their faces as well.  But do you know what sucks about being positive, even with a life-threatening disease? People think you're cray cray. It's true. They don't know what to do with me. Apparently I am not your typical kidney failure person.  I'm always out and about, I work full-time, and I am not on dialysis. Well not yet anyway.  T-minus one day until I go for th...

So I've got this friend. And she wrote a book. I'm only half-way through it, but it's amazing. I'm super jealous and all, because she actually did what she said she would do, while I just sit here and say, "I should write more." So I'd like to say to her, "Thank you for the inspiration!" The early morning sun was cresting above the ocean, setting off a wave of pale colors throughout the sky to the east. Kate stood on her porch, the steam from her coffee mug wafting gently through the air as she breathed in the strong aroma. It was like being in one of those coffee commercials, she laughed quietly to herself. This was her favorite part of living right on the water – the silence and solitude that came every morning. It wouldn’t last long. Despite the coolness of October, the beach was close enough to town that a steady stream of people would visit during the day – joggers choosing to run along the water instead of a sidewalk, stay-at-ho...

per·spec·tive /pərˈspektiv / a particular attitude toward or way of regarding something; a point of view. Last week, I called my mom with a medical question. I had kneeled down on Colin's bed as I was tucking him in and was met with a sharp pain in my knee.  I looked down and my knee had begun to turn purple and swell.  We decided it was just a broken blood vessel (a really big one apparently). I said "What are the odds of me getting a broken blood vessel from just kneeling down?" She replied, "What are the odds of you getting kidney failure?"   Haha, good point. I laughed at her comment.  Because it's true - I don't seem to have good odds. I've always said that weird things happen to me . I can't help it, I attract weirdness.  And I am ok with it. Sometimes I enjoy it, other times, I wonder why me?  The 2nd opinion doctor told me I had bad luck.  Not only do I have a normally benign hereditary disease that only progresse...

Dear Me, Hi! This letter is from you, only 20 years older. Sure, 37 sounds really old right now, but to be honest, it's not that bad. Well.... it wasn't that bad up until March 2, 2015. Can you believe it's 2015? No there aren't any flying cars or robot takeovers...yet.  Overall life is pretty good, by picture-perfect Facebook standards (Facebook - it's a computer thing. Remember that crappy PC your parents have in the basement... it gets a lot better!) Anyway, in 20 years, you will married to a totally awesome tattooed guy who builds you things, but spends way too much time training for Ironmans. ;) You will live in a nice house, although when you get married and start looking at 3 bedroom forever homes, think twice, and splurge for a four bedroom.  You will be blessed beyond belief with a beautiful little boy in 2006, and then in 2008, you will receive the surprise of your lifetime (unbeknownst to you, twins DO run in your family!). In October 2014, you ...

After I received my kidney failure news, my doctor reached out to a colleague at Rush University in Chicago.  This was a specialist in the field of nephrology.  The doctor advised to not use steroids, just go straight to the transplant process.  My doctor seemed disappointed at this, as he thought steroids could help.  I asked if we could try a low dose anyway.  "Low dose" in this case is 40 mg/day.  That's a lot more than you get if your regular doc gives you a steroid script for a sinus infection or inflammation.  It's been a little over a month on predinisone.  Life is tough on it. Don't get me wrong, I am super thankful for the little white pills I take each morning.  They've made some inflammation go down, and my lab work go up. I will take it. But the side effects are a PIA.   Sleep, or lack thereof I don't sleep. In fact, I haven't slept in 3 days.  Well, ok I am being a little over-dramatic. I've had roughly 8 hours of...

31 one days ago, I read my test results on my phone app. Then I stood in my kitchen and cried soft tears as my brain registered "GFR = 12".  Under 15 is bad, bad, bad.  12 gets you a call from a specialist at big-name Chicago hospital whose brash bedside manner may not be the best fit for most people. "Shit, you are still a kid," he said when I told him my age. "Get in and get a transplant now." His next piece of advice was softer. "Be pro-active. Call the hospital now, and then call back to follow-up. Don't wait for them."  He even gave me his personal email if I had additional questions.  So I did as he advised.  I called. When they told me they couldn't see me until May 22, I asked to be put on a wait list if someone cancelled.  The man was surprised - they don't do that sort of thing. But I didn't let that stop me. I received all the paperwork in the mail. I found my possible donors.  A few of them fax...

I'm that person - the one who makes a list of resolutions - floss more, lose weight, etc - and then never follows through.  It's not because I don't have good intentions.  Truthfully, I just don't have the time. I thought when the kids started grade school, I'd have more free time, more time to myself.  Instead, I find our lives are even more busier than before. Sometimes I find myself wishing for the diaper stage again - at least then they took naps. So this year, I decided to take a different approach and make a list of what I am NOT going to do this year.  Let me tell you, on day 6, I haven't completely succeeded but that's why there are 365 days in a year! If things don't go the way you planned, there is always tomorrow. 1 - STOP being negative.  This is a hard one. By the end of 2014, I was really feeling the pull of life.  I was (am) overworked and stressed out.  That, of course, cannot change overnight (or even by the end of January), but...

Last week, a co-worker leaned across the table and whispered loudly, "You look tired!" The other people at the table turned to me and stared, their gazes scrutinizing me,  causing me to stammer something about how I am running a fundraiser for the kids' school. She responded with a comment on how I work full time and have three kids, so why am I volunteering? Ummmmmmmm........"because that's what moms do" didn't really seem like the right response. Neither did "well no one else stepped up", although those both are the reasons. The real response I should have given to "you look tired" is not completely professional or work appropriate. Yelling loudly, "Well of course I do! I'm trying to balance 20 million things at once, and I'm overloaded! I don't sleep well since I can't shut my brain off at 10 p.m. when the to-do list didn't get done, and I feel like crap because of some health issues I have! Not t...

As much as technology has made my life easier, I am still a paper and pen sort of girl.  I love notebooks, journals, colored pens, etc.  And I really love my Erin Condren planner!   I will admit, they are pricey.  But I've tried to go cheap. I bought a really nice Target planner. And was left unimpressed. So I broke down and made the 18-month commitment to Erin Condren. ;)  My package arrived last Thursday, and it was super hard not to skip supper with the family to start filling it in: They wrapped it for me! It's like Christmas in August! The planner came with a coupon, as well as some stickers. The front This is in the back. They have now included a perpetual calendar to list birthdays/anniversaries so that you don't need to write them down year after year. I love love love a 2 page monthly spread to see all our big events. I use the 2 page weekly view to write down work meetings, kids' stuff, my to do list, etc. ...

My sister invited Keira and I to head into Chicago to see the Marshall Field Macy's Christmas displays and visit the American Girl Doll Store. The thing is... Keira didn't have her AG doll yet.  Santa wasn't bringing Saige until December 25.  So Mommy called in a favor, and St. Nick dropped her off on December 6! The boys' gift and Keira's doll Yesterday, my sister, niece, Keira, and I drove into the city.  I hate driving in Chicago. But we had a blast! It started snowing right about the time we got there, and the snowy roads made for a loooonnnngggg drive home, but we girls had a fantastic time! Lexi, Julie, Keira and Saige Stopped for a quick snack After lunch at Macy's on State Street The great tree in the Walnut Room Walking back to the car Keira picked up a couple of goodies at the AG store, and Mommy bought herself a new purse as an early birthday present at Macy's.... All in all, it was a wonderful day!!!