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Why Bedtime Sucks

Remember when you could just lock your kids up in a crib or rocker or something and go on with your day???


Since the twins moved from cribs to toddler beds (about a month ago), this is no longer an option.  There is nowhere to lock them up place them out of harm's way. 

This is our typical night:

Children jumping on the bed.
No jumping on the bed.
Children jumping faster on the bed before Mommy gets to them.
They jump off the bed and run away.
Chasing them, pjs in hand.
Hold one down, change the diaper of a screaming child, who is upset she can no longer run around.
That one gets up, runs back to the bed, jumps again.
The other one is perched precariously on the edge of the bed, reaching onto the dresser to turn off the lamp.
Because this is so much more fun in the dark.
One child has her pajamas on, one child is naked.
The clothed child takes off her pants because she doesn't want Dora, she wants Tinkerbell.
Suddenly she has to go potty (again), so the diaper is taken off.
The other one, not wanting to be left out, takes off his diaper too.
Man it's hot in the bathroom with all these naked kids running around.
Everyone washes their hands.
Then everyone needs a drink of water.
Children are refreshed, and they take off running.
Tackle child closest to bathroom, put diaper back on, and pajamas. Again.
Yell for husband, who has mysteriously disappeared.
Go into oldest child's room, to corral children who do not belong there back to their room.
Get the naked twin who is jumping on brother's bed (the other one is walking around with the laundry basket on her head).
Put dirty clothes back into laundry basket, carry screaming child who had to stop jumping on the bed out of the room to put pajamas on.
Allow child to dress himself, but argue when he wants to put pants on without a diaper.
Look around frantically for husband who may or may not have moved out by this point.

Finally get somewhat calm children to sit down while reading stories.
Ahhhh, happy feeling of cuddling the children, while they help read the story.

Turn off light, tuck children into bed.

Get back in to bed!
Chase down child who has gotten out of bed and ran down the hall.
Find Colin hiding in the bathroom.
Chase down Keira who has gone downstairs looking for a random toy she hasn't played with in weeks.
Find Colin hiding on the other side of our bed.
Tuck children back into bed.
Lay on floor by door to block their escape route.
Tuck children back into bed.
Go to get their water cups.
Come back to find one empty bed.
Find Colin hiding in Connor's room, under the bed.
Tuck children into bed.

Two hours have passed since starting the bedtime routine.
Children have passed out from sheer exhaustion.

Mommy heads downstairs to relax. 
Pours glass of wine, hears noise.
Sees Colin sitting in the middle of the living room.


TwinsMom2 said…
Hi Sarah, this post made me laugh. Very similar to what happens at my house around bedtime except they are still in cribs and can not escape.
Unknown said…
Holy cow. So not looking forward to that.

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