January. The time of new beginnings. New starts. The dreaded resolutions that everyone proclaims will change their lives in the new year, yet many fail to hold onto through the very first month.
I don't make resolutions. Strike that, I did make one for the kids. "What's a new year revolution?" one child asked. "It's a positive change you make at the start of the new year. And your reSolution is to fold your own laundry and put it away."
This worked for two days. ;)
Let's be honest, 2015 was a stressful year for me. It started out great - we headed to Disney with my family for a week of fun, mostly sun, and great memories. But mere weeks later, I found myself in kidney failure from a hereditary disease that normally does not worsen. By May, I was officially on the national transplant list. By the grace of God, I didn't have the normal 5 year wait that most people have when waiting for a kidney. On October 15, just months after being listed, I was given a second change. A new kidney that was a 100% antibody match for me. This greatly improves the chances of my body not rejecting the new kidney. Next week, a routine 3 month biopsy will check for any sort of rejection. Fingers crossed that all is well.
Rather than make a resolution or two that I may or may not keep, I chose to renew myself in this new year. Shortly after my diagnosis, I had Reiki done. The Reiki healer told me that I need to do what I love because it appears I enjoy life anymore. Her words rang through. As the children grew older, and my life got busier, what I loved to do fell by the wayside. I barely read, wrote, or crafted. I lost my creativity, replacing it with being consumed with others - my family, their activities, work, school commitments, etc. I have piles of yarn that yearn to be knitted, scrapbooks with empty pages, project upon project that died in my head because I never turn them into reality. Shelves (and a full kindle) of books to be read. And stories that flutter in my mind, only to gently float away because I never put pen to paper.
What do I do these days that I love? I spend time with my kids and husband. But now I am back to work, and school is in session again. Keith has upped his training. The busyness is back in our lives. Yet how do we not lose ourselves in it again?
It's taking time. Being present. Awakening 10 minutes earlier that I used to so there is some quiet time for me in the morning. Praying more. Facebooking less. It's allowing myself to be a work in progress - so if I fail one day, I know that I will wake the next day ready to start again. It's stepping back, taking a breath or ten, learning to meditate. To block out time to do yoga and exercise, something I haven't been able to do for quite some time. Not putting certain things off, yet only doing what is necessary.
Do you know I like to make my bed in the morning? Coming home after a long day of work and life, it's peaceful to walk into a bedroom that is organized. So I try to do it everyday because it makes me happy. (It would also make me happy for our living room and kitchen to be less cluttered, yet it's hard to get the other four people in the house to agree on that one).
That's what this new year is going to be about. Making me happy. Not over-committing. Doing good things for my body, mind and soul.