The Summer of Firsts...

I debated bringing this up, but decided it's my blog, I'll write if I want to. ;)

I had a kidney donor. She was approved as a tissue match and was set to come into the hospital for the final round of testing. Let's just say it didn't work out. I don't know the details, but she backed out. She has her reasons, which I am sure are valid, but she did not share them with me. I just hope and pray that they are not serious health reasons or something of that nature.

To say I was shocked is an understatement. A few dear co-workers offered to go beat her up, jokingly of course. Keith said it happened because it gives me more time with the kids this summer. I don't see it that way. Since my levels are up enough to push off surgery for a couple of months, I would have had that extra summer time anyway. A friend told me once that she doesn't believe things happen for a reason, that they just happen. 

I however, think things do happen for a reason. Not good reasons, perhaps. We had a second donor come forward, but due to an eye injury/surgery, she couldn't start testing. Donor #3 was disqualified by the hospital due to high blood pressure (from one doctor visit!), although she asked to have a 24 hours test to prove that reading was based on stress, not her overall health.  Still waiting to hear the results and if she will be approved to move forward. Either way, the chances of needing dialysis are looming.  Testing of a donor can take up to three months, which is plenty of time for levels to drop. 

I still wonder why this happened to me. Why the donor backed out. Why I was so close only to have it taken away. It's hard knowing there is an actual match out there that could save my life but I don't have access to it. 

Despite all that, I keep on going. There isn't anything else to do. I'm enjoying summer, enjoying the kids. Perhaps that is the reason this is all happening. As a mom, you tend to get so wrapped up in things that there is little chance to enjoy what is going on around you.  Summer gives us the time to step back, without the hustle and bustle of the school year. I can't say that I am looking forward to the kids going back to school in two weeks.  Homework will be a bigger constant in our lives. There are after-school activities to take them to.  And I still work full-time and have my house duties to take care of. The laundry doesn't wash itself. (Although I wish it would put itself away...)  I do all the things I did before, but with a nagging sense of exhaustion that haunts me night and day... one that can't be controlled with caffeine or extra sleep. 

And while this was the first summer of my new normal, there were also more fun "firsts" that happened as well:

First time riding bikes without training wheels (and not falling off!):

First Cubs game!!!

First time miniature-golfing! 
(Not the best picture, but it was black-light mini-golf!)

 First time meeting a far-away friend....
(And getting to see other special friends as well!)

First time meeting Batman...
(Who, I'm not going to lie, was pretty cute in person...)

There were other first as well that are not pictured here, since a more personal goal of mine was not to have my phone with me at all times.  Because not all moments need to be documented with technology. Rather they live in our hearts and minds...

I'm looking forward to more "firsts" as the year goes on.  That's the thing, after your children are out of the infant/toddler stage, we tend to forget that there are many other firsts that are to come. My goal for the rest of the year is to find more "firsts" and enjoy them all.
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