A Letter to the 17-Year Old Me

Dear Me,

Hi! This letter is from you, only 20 years older. Sure, 37 sounds really old right now, but to be honest, it's not that bad. Well.... it wasn't that bad up until March 2, 2015. Can you believe it's 2015? No there aren't any flying cars or robot takeovers...yet. 

Overall life is pretty good, by picture-perfect Facebook standards (Facebook - it's a computer thing. Remember that crappy PC your parents have in the basement... it gets a lot better!) Anyway, in 20 years, you will married to a totally awesome tattooed guy who builds you things, but spends way too much time training for Ironmans. ;) You will live in a nice house, although when you get married and start looking at 3 bedroom forever homes, think twice, and splurge for a four bedroom.  You will be blessed beyond belief with a beautiful little boy in 2006, and then in 2008, you will receive the surprise of your lifetime (unbeknownst to you, twins DO run in your family!).

In October 2014, you and your husband will finally get a chance to get away, back to where you took your honeymoon. Enjoy every moment in New Orleans - it's the last time you will be alone with him for quite sometime! Even movie dates are pretty hard to come by with kids!  In February 2015, you will be blessed to have a family vacation (complete with Nana and Bumpa!) to Disney World. Take lots of pictures because you will spend lots of time looking at them when you get home and remembering all the special moments you had together.

But that brings me to March... and the news isn't that good. The very first thing to remember is that it's not cancer. But that kidney transplant you kind of always knew in your heart that you would need - well now is the time.  But as you deal with everything, just keep in mind that the part of yourself that grew dormant after becoming "Mommy", starts to come back.

As you are faced with a constant reminder that life is really too short, and that we may not always have tomorrow;
As you push aside the things you love because you think you have to because you need to be super-mom;
As you stare down into those sweet little faces, crying out for you in the night because Daddy just won't do;
As you snuggle on the couch, watching an seemingly endless stream of mind-numbing kid shows (and later, sadly find yourself singing kid songs even though you are all alone in your car);
As you struggle just to get through bedtime with the kids because you are so totally exhausted but still have loads to do.....

Always remember this - you are doing a fantastic job! I'm not sure how this adventure will turn out, but just know that you are the luckiest girl in the world. You've got these little cuties to live for:

Just a few more things:
  • Dump Nick after a year, because year 2 sucks with him
  • Get that tattoo on the fairy on your back - because now you can't
  • Finish your damn novel and send it to a publisher
  • Your kids get a lot of fevers - don't worry about the 1st or the 500th high fever
  • Oh and - after Colin's first stay in the hospital, tell the ped he has illness-induced asthma and get him on the right meds before the next two hospital stays!
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