Gotta have Faith...

Back in Oct/Nov 2007, God must have thought I wasn’t busy enough, so he BLESSED me with twins. Thanks to Him and St. Therese, the little flower, my babies were carried almost to term and I didn’t have to have a c-section. He must have thought I needed to be reminded on how strong I really was, because Colin was admitted to the NICU a few hours after being born and spent 2 weeks learning to eat. It was during this time that a head ultrasound was performed and they found a Grade 1 IVH (brain bleed). Luckily however, by ultrasound #2 on his one week birthday, the bleed was gone and I was told it was most likely a shadow on the image.

Three months later, God must have thought I was getting bored with life, so he threw in torticollis and physical therapy for little Colin. By January, we had an appointment to get his head measured for a helmet due to plagiocephaly. Lots of prayers to St. Therese later, Colin was ONE millimeter shy of a helmet. Woo hoo!

At the twins’ nine month well baby visit, I received disappointing news – for two. Keira would be going to PT now too because she couldn’t sit on her own, much less bear weight on her legs. And Colin fell off the growth chart. Low weight, plus the brain bleed (which really was a brain bleed after all) caused the ped to recommend having an MRI done to check for cerebral palsy. Um, what?!?! I asked to wait until at least 12 months. I didn’t tell anyone in my family. I cried when we got home. I tried to explain it to my husband – although I didn’t do a good job.

Three months have passed since then. Keira, who has been diagnosed with low muscle tone, does PT once a week. She can pull to a stand and cruises the furniture just fine. She even stood up last night all on her own. Colin can walk! He took his first steps before his first birthday (just like his big brother). I’ve also caught him standing on toys and trying to climb out of the super yard. Besides being small, you would think he was like any other baby at this age.

Highlight of their 12 month well baby visit include:
  • Colin screaming almost the entire time because we wouldn’t let him crawl on the floor.
  • A different ped because ours was on vacation. She was nice, but very pregnant and I am sure she prayed that her baby would not be a screamer like mine. She also asked if my BOY/GIRL twins were identical. Now while I expect this question from random people at Target, I do naively assume that a doctor would have enough sense to realize that boys and girls have different parts to them and therefore cannot be identical.
  • Two babies, one new doctor, over an hour in a tiny room. Lots of screaming and crying (and that was before the shots), mommy’s anxiety level really starts to rise and she sweats profusely, daddy allows one of the screamers to shred that flimsy paper on the table and now there are little pieces covering the floor like a soft blanket of snow, and we still have to go back to have blood work done for anemia and lead.
  • The doctor tells me that although Keira cannot stand alone, she has checked her legs and is mostly assured that Keira will walk someday. (Not that this was ever a concern of mine. I’m beginning to think this doctor wasn’t completely paying attention when I was explaining why she is in PT.)
  • The doctor then reads the regular ped’s notes about Colin, reads the letters sent by the NICU doctor, and tells me that most definitely Colin had a brain bleed on day one, although it was gone by day seven. And since he is only in the POINT three percentile for weight (height and head circumference are right on target) we need to check for cerebral palsy. (Commence tears. Although I did wait until we were at home, and I was alone.) Another reason she feels that we need to check is because she told me he can’t walk. Again, I feel that she must have been quite overwhelmed with our visit because I told her Colin CAN walk.

Again I left the appointment feeling discouraged and disappointed, not to mention exhausted and wanting a vodka shot or a valium (neither of which I partake of in real life). My second opinion did not go well at all. How can I get a third opinion? How can I find out more information to see if Colin really needs to be put under and go through an MRI to check for CP? By the way, if he is diagnosed with CP, I asked the ped what they will do. She said they will do PT. Um, he is already in PT. It’s not like they will give him a special pill to fix him. Do I call on St. Therese to see if she can help make things better? I have faith; I just think I need more of it.

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