Monday, January 26, 2009

As a mother, I can never

...leave a pen just laying around without expecting some sort of art project be left on my living room walls.

...take a shower without thinking when will I hear "momma, where you?" or wonder if today is the day that a baby wakes up extremely early and our finely crafted morning schedule falls apart.

...think about abortion or child abuse without tearing up.

...take a picture of all three of my children smiling AND looking at the camera AND behaving all at the same time. (The Christmas picture was a fluke, I'm sure.)

...go out alone with my husband without tracking down not one, but two babysitters who can handle bottle-feeding twins while playing with Connor at the same time.

...not multi-task.

...make too many to-do lists.

...sleep soundly through the night without getting up at least once to check on the kids.

...get through a meal without scarfing it down or waiting until it's almost too cold to eat.

...get enough smiles from the babies or laughs from Connor.

...get over how Connor loves to pretend to sleep in various positions (for example, hanging off the arm of the couch) and fake-snore.

...not smile when Keira grabs my cheeks and laughs.

...not smother Colin with kisses as he eats his toes.

...wish hard enough that Connor continues to be a wonderful and caring big brother to the twins.

...hope hard enough that Keira's birthmark won't cause her emotional pain when she starts school if it hasn't gone away by then.

...pray hard enough that Colin's physical therapy continues to work and that he doesn't have anything else wrong with him besides torticollis.

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

How Do I Do It?

I get this question a lot. Especially when people hear or see that I had three kids in two years. There is no easy answer to that question. The first six weeks after the twins were born were definitely the hardest. I thought giving birth to two babies would be hard - nope, it was rather easy. I'm still amazed that my ob sent the second doctor (who was on hand in case of an emergency c-section) out of the room before baby B was even born. I thought leaving one baby in the NICU while I came home with the other baby would be hard - and while that was heartbreaking to say the least, I got through that. And then Colin came home. The next day, Keith left for work at 6:30 a.m. And there I was, all alone for 8 hours, with a just turned two year old and these two tiny babies, all clamouring for my undivided attention. I averaged about three hours of sleep a DAY for the first four to six weeks. I had my mantra (Breathe, Smile, Love) and my burp rags, and then I was thrown into this situation where some days I ended up asking myself "how DID I do it???" How in the world did I make it through another day of the feeding, pumping, changing, crying, more feeding, more pumping, more changing, MORE crying...???

The days slooooowly got better. Soon the babies were sleeping for three hours at a time, rather than two. And then they were sleeping at the SAME time - which was nice too. And every 10 days or so, God would bless me with an afternoon where all three kids slept at the same time for more than 10 minutes. And that was heavenly. I could take a five minute shower rather than a three minute one. Or I eat something while it was (luke)warm. Or the best was that I could just sit outside on the deck in the warm sun and enjoy the quiet.

Now that I work full-time, as soon as I step in the door, I am immediately barraged by things to do, babies to hold, toddlers to chase. Dinner needs to be eaten, kids need to be bathed, Connor needs to be danced with, and the twins need to eat. I still don't really get that quiet time I so desperately need sometimes. By the time the laundry is washed (notice I say washed - not folded!) and the kids are finally asleep, sometimes I wonder how in the world did I get through the day? And now that it's finally over, what will tomorrow bring?

So then to answer the question at hand: How do I do it? To be honest, I really don't know. I just did it. I just do it.

Friday, January 16, 2009

Time goes by so fast...

...and I can't believe that in another six months the twins will be 1 and Connor will be 3!

When I think about what my life was like a year ago, I can't believe how much has changed since then. Last January, I still thought I was pregnant with just one baby. Connor was 18 months old and not talking. And now, I've got two babies who are rolling around on the floor and trying to sit up. Connor's language skills seem to be improving everyday, and he is constantly trying new things and surprising us with what he can do.

It's amazing watching my children grow. I never thought I would enjoy being a mommy this much. The smiles that I get from the babies when I wake them up in the morning and hearing Connor say "Morning, Momma" when I go into his room are the best parts of my day.